Our Internal Colonies
Last week, we talked about The Illusion of Independence. How sometimes, what we call freedom is just a refined version of control.
But there’s another side to that story that we didn’t touch, and that is the control that doesn’t come from the outside world, but from within us.
I’ve come to realise that liberation is not something that happens once. It is a slow, ongoing process of peeling away the layers of who we were taught to be, until what is left finally feels true.
And even after you’ve walked away from what once controlled you, pieces of it still live inside you. It still lives in your habits, your fears, your responses. It’s almost like a country gaining its independence but still trading in its former master’s currency. The name has changed, but the influence remains.
You can look put-together, successful, even ‘healed’, and still be ruled by an old system that no longer serves you.
You can say ‘I’ve moved on’ and still make every decision from a wound you never fully faced.
You can love God deeply and still be imprisoned by what religion told you you’re not allowed to question.
That’s what I call Internal Colonies.
The territories within us still governed by what was once necessary for survival, but is now standing in the way of our liberation. These are unmarked territories that were conquered long before (and as) we became adults.
The past that still tells you who you are.
The fear that decides which dreams are ‘too much’.
The guilt that keeps you apologising for simply existing.
The self-doubt that edits your light before you even shine it.
The survival mindset that makes you prepare for war even in seasons of peace.
Today, I want to walk you through some of the most common internal colonies. I will try to keep each one brief but telling, so that the letter doesn’t get too long.
The Colony of The Past
The past is one of the hardest empires to break free from because it lives in our memory.
You can change cities, change friends, even change your name, but if the stories from yesterday still hold power over how you see yourself today, you’re not free yet.
Sometimes it’s not even the event itself that holds us bound, but the meaning we gave it.
You are not what happened to you, Dearest Reader. You are who you chose to become after it. And until you separate your identity from your history, you’ll keep reliving a past that no longer deserves a seat in your present.
You must not let the trajectory of your life be dictated by what happened before now. You have the power to choose better henceforth.
The Colony of Identity
This is another deep one.
Many of us don’t know who we are without the names we’ve been called, the roles we’ve played, or the expectations others placed on us.
We have been performing ‘ourselves’ for so long that we’ve forgotten what our real voice sounds like.
Before we even had the chance to ask, ‘Who am I, really?’ someone already answered it for us.
They told us what success should look like, what a ‘good person’ should be, how a woman should act, how a man should lead, and what dreams are “reasonable.”
So we spend years living other people’s ideas of us, trying to earn validation that was never ours to begin with.
But identity meant to be discovered, not necessarily inherited.
And the day you start questioning what you’ve always believed about yourself is the day you start becoming free.
Might I add that your identity is a living, breathing thing. It can evolve and expand. And you are very much allowed to outgrow the person you used to be, even if everyone around you is still attached to your old version.
The Fear Colony
Fear is a loyal soldier of every internal colony. It is so sneaky that it comes dressed as ‘wisdom’, logic, caution, or ‘just being realistic’. LOL.
It tells you not to take risks because you might fail. It tells you to stay quiet because speaking might offend someone. It tells you not to dream too loud because disappointment hurts. But the truth is, fear’s job is to keep you safe, not fulfilled.
So if you’re always obeying fear, you are not really living. You are just surviving carefully.
Freedom does not mean that fear disappears. On the contrary. It means you move anyway… shaking and uncertain, but still moving.
4. Religion and Cultural Conditioning
This is a sensitive one, but it must be said. And it cuts deep because it shapes us from childhood.
Many of us are not truly living in faith. We, like many others, are living in fear, covered by religion.
We confuse control with obedience, silence with submission, and guilt with conviction.
And if we bring culture in the same equation as religion, it becomes even harder to know what is true and what is tradition.
Faith should set you free, not make you smaller. And Culture should give you roots, not build your cage.
I am not asking you to abandon your faith and your culture. I am simply asking you to start asking questions.
Freedom means keeping your relationship with God and your roots alive, but not allowing them to shrink you. Because any belief system keeps you small, scared, and ashamed of your own humanity, is colonial, and it has nothing to do with divinity, no matter how you twist it.
The Colony of Shame and Guilt
Shame is one of the most brutal colonisers. Guilt says, ‘I made a mistake’. Shame says, I am the mistake’. Both of them are useful until they become your identity.
When shame takes root, it erodes your confidence. It makes you over-explain yourself, apologise too much, and hide even when no one is looking for you.
Freedom from shame comes from standing before your truth, seeing your imperfections, and saying, ‘Yes, I did that. But I am no longer that’.
Learn to separate your lowest moments from your identity. Take responsibility and accountability where necessary, and move! Don’t stay there for any reason.
You can take responsibility without self-condemnation.
You can own your past without living in it.
The Colony of Self-Doubt and Survival
Self-doubt is the leftover voice of all your old masters.
When you have lived too long in environments that made you second-guess your intelligence, your beauty, your potential, you start to shrink before you even step forward.
And so even when life hands you opportunities, you disqualify yourself first.
Freedom here means trusting your becoming even when you’re still rough around the edges.
It means giving yourself permission to take up space without apology.
The Survival Colony
When life has been tough for too long, survival becomes the only language you speak. When you’ve had to fight to stay afloat, it is hard to imagine life beyond survival.
You learn to be alert, to be careful, to never relax. You start living in defence mode, always preparing for what could go wrong.
And for a while, that keeps you alive. But survival is not living.
You can’t thrive and just manage at the same time.
Conquering the survival colony looks like giving yourself permission to want more. Permission to outgrow what was only meant to keep you safe.
It is when you organising your life around fear and lack, and start believing that you deserve abundance, softness, and rest.
The chains may be gone now, but if you still don’t believe you deserve more than survival, then you are still not free. You don’t have to keep fighting forever. You can breathe out now.
I could go on and on(like the colonies of pain, control, etc), but I have shared enough to get you started.
We carry so many internal colonies that we have normalised or even called our personality. But every layer you peel back brings you closer to freedom that no one can give or take away.
I hope you that you always remember that true independence is a personal revolution that starts from the inside.
As always, I am rooting for you.
_Chinaza Favour🌱
PS: This letter marks the 52nd letter since I launched the wholesome letters in October 13, 2024. That is 52 weeks of back to back inspiration. I am truly, truly grateful that you are here.
Thank you for the heartwarming comments and replies you drop(sometimes, LOL). And a big ‘thank you’ to everyone who has recommended these letters.
Here’s to more.🥂
Odds, how time flies - 52 weeks already!
But every bit of the journey is worth it.
Many thanks ma'am 🙏
Happy real independence
This is truly wholesome
God bless you ma'am ❤️