38 Comments
User's avatar
Blessing Siabi's avatar

And this hit deep. I am really guilty of trying to be everywhere.

As I read this, it informed my mind that the reason I usually feel so guilty about not meeting up is because I'm usually half present with most things I do.

So the first thing I just did after realizing this was to practice staying present all through the reading.

Whatsapp notifications popped up but I chose to stay glued and finish before attending to anything else.

I felt relaxed and that's how I want to feel as I go from day to day.

Thank you so much for sharing this ma'am. I'll stay present by God's grace and I'll watch my productivity improve.

Chinaza Favour's avatar

I’m so proud of you.šŸ‘

Aneke Jude.E's avatar

Many thanks ma'am.

I'll definitely be present for those who are deserving of me this week

Grace Oluwatosin Alagbe's avatar

Thank you so much for this week's letter, ma'am.

I’ve been so distracted lately, to the point where I even feel guilty. But I just keep hiding under the excuse that I’m occupied.

This morning, however, I decided to harness my energy again, and that was when I remembered I haven’t read the "Wholesome Letters" in a while. I picked up my phone immediately, opened my email, and there I found this week’s letter.

As I read through it, I felt like it was written with me in mind. 🄹 It gave me even more reasons to be truly present in everything I do.

I’ll keep going back to this letter whenever I start to feel distracted again.

Thank you so much once again, ma'am.

Chinaza Favour's avatar

You’re very welcome.

Jennifer Ovohe's avatar

The Quality of my presence matters, not just the quantity.

Thank you, Ma'am.

I wear so many hats too and sometimes it gets overwhelming, but then I realized I wasn't paying attention to my own self.

Right now, I want to put down this phone and sleep. I only have not more than 2 hours of sleep for the night.

It's a phase and it'll pass soon.

I always look forward to your letters.

Thank youuuuuuuuuuu 🄰

Chinaza Favour's avatar

ā¤ļøā¤ļø

Ose Ose's avatar

Well, I have a roommate.We are still staying together because we were told that we both have something we will fulfill together like I need her and she needs me.Till now,I still don't know what that thing is, and I don't know about her.I have always been an introvert.Sometimes I just prefer to stay quiet rather than talking.There are many things she does that I don't like but yet I don't say it out so she doesn't feel bad or feel like am looking down on her.Please ma,does it make sense at all that I keep them to myself rather than say it.All the anger,I bottle them up rather than say it.

For a few days now,the room has been unusually quiet,no one is saying anything.I don't know what to say to her and she isn't saying anything either.My mind is wandering and my spirit is disturbed.She mentioned today that she's going out because she feels uncomfortable here but what about me?I too am not comfortable.She doesn't ask me questions.She doesn't probe further.I don't like talking much.Sometimes I just prefer the tranquility.I feel we lack proper communication.No one is saying anything.we don't tell ourselves the truth

Ma am I a good friend at all? what do I do exactly?

Chinaza Favour's avatar

Hi Ose,

It is obvious that you both are long overdue for a real conversation.

You cannot continue hiding behind your introversion to not talk. Ask for a time to talk and then, respectfully bring up whatever issues you have. Allow her table hers too.

Extended Silence is not a good way to live.

Ose Ose's avatar

Thank you so much Ma ..this is the answer to the question that has been on my mind for days now

Loveline's avatar

Thank you Ma'am 🄰.

I actually gave this letter my presence, how do I know? I subscribed when you first started it but was removed because I wasn't reading them anymore though the few I did blessed me.

I'm back now intentionally.

By God's grace I'll give my presence this week to everyone I should šŸ™.

Chinaza Favour's avatar

ā¤ļøā¤ļø

Faith's avatar

Thank you ma'am šŸ’œ

My question is, if I'm giving the needed attention but this person wouldn't stop talking and it is going to affect the next thing on my schedule for the day, and this person is my elder or my mate.How do I end the conversation because it is always difficult for me.

Chinaza Favour's avatar

Hi Faith, this is a very pertinent question.

Thanks for bringing it up.

What I would advise is this:

See if there is any way you can round off the conversation. If they still keep going, politely tell them that you need to attend to something else in the next(fill in the blank) minutes.

That way, they will know to either round off or adjourn the conversation till a later time when you can give them your attention again.

You have to have boundaries, else, you will leak energy unnecessarily.

Faith's avatar

Alright ma'am thank you for your responsešŸ™

Stella Odunitan's avatar

This hits deeply. I'm very guilty of this.

I stretch myself thin trying to be everywhere but I end up feeling exhausted, and guilty of not being fully present when needed.

Sometimes my niece would be telling me something and I would be have lost in my phone and only a little bit present to her.

Sincerely speaking I really don't like that about me and I've been trying to work on it. This wonderful piece of yours came at the right time.

So I decided to practice it by reading this to the end without doing something else.

The change starts with intentionality and mindfulness.

Thank you very much ma.

I had a good read.

Olubusola Olayiwola's avatar

Ground yourself first, before you showed up for others.

You cannot give what you don't have!!------This stood out for me, I am going back to the drawing board to work more on myself.

Thanks for always dishing out Words of wisdom.

God bless you Ma

Lucky favour Nathan's avatar

"PRESENCE IS LOVE MADE VISIBLE, IT IS HONOUR EXPRESSED THROUGH ATTENTION".THAT'S THE ROUTE TO THE ZENITH OF DETERMINISM WHICH COVERS THE FOUR DYNAMICS OF LIFE(SELF- DETERMINISM) ND EVEN EXTENDS TO PAN-DETERMINISM THE REMAINING FOUR DYNAMICS OF LIFE. THANK YOU SO MUCH NASA, MY LOVE AND RESPECT AND KEEP THE FIRE BURNINGšŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„.

Nnacheta Anulika's avatar

This is a timely message for me and I let every word sit in my heart as I absorb its nutrients (meaning).

This means so much to me because one of my Love Languages is Quality Time and I'm just going to do better at this.

Thank you so much for pouring yourself into this letter, Ma'am Chinaza. ā™„ļø

Adetoye Christianah's avatar

Presence is love made visible

Presence is powerful

Presence doesn't need to be in hours

The 5 minutes intentional presence stays longer with whosoever you are with.

Thank you for the wholesome letter, miss Chinaza

I love you big ā¤ļø

Faith Victor's avatar

Thank you so much for this.

I'm inspired

Midey PMH's avatar

Sincerely I think I practice this but without clear communication.

When I am writing, I don't want to do anything else, I don't want to hear anything. And it is fine because I live alone but when I am with people, it is a little difficult because I tend to abandon everything else until I can get alone

Instead of communicating what I need to do so I can get time to do them.

I'm reminded through this later to communicate clearly and that it's okay to focus on one thing at a time.

Thank you for sharing.